This Week in Apple: Siri, not Siri

It’s WWDC week and John Moltz had the temerity to go on vacation, which means it falls to me, his dutiful editor, to file something. Also, Jason’s on the road somewhere, so really, there’s nobody to stop me. The power is intoxica—wait, is this zero-proof power? Rats.

Anyway, down to business.

If you take away anything from this week’s WWDC, it’s that Apple and Google are just friends. Plus, Siri is good now, and Tim Cook says “good byyyyyye.”

WWDC unplugged

The week of Apple’s Worldwide Developers Conference often goes by in a blur, whether it’s an hour-long keynote or binging seventy-two developer sessions in just eighteen hours by setting them all to run at 2x—look, I might need to iterate my spatial scenes faster with Reality Composer Pro 3! You don’t know me!

After three days of that, you too might wake up alone and cold on the Rainbow Stage, a blown-up printout of a wall of features slide covered in red pen and incomprehensible scribblings plastered to your face with drool.…